Crib Sheet for Conversations Between High-Tech Consultants
 

All social conversations at your high-tech consulting company MUST follow the following pre-approved conversation process.  Please choose one option from each group.

Introduction:

1. "Hello, I don't think we've met.  My name is (insert name here)."
2. "Hello, haven't seen you in a while!  (awkward pause)  How are things?"

Establishing history:

1. "Aren't you working on the (insert project name here)?"
2. "Aren't you on the (insert floor # here)?"
3. "Still on the bench?"
4. "Hey, whatever happened to (insert name of laid-off colleague here)?" 

Placing you in context:

1. "Gee, that (insert project or team name here) sure is great, you must be excited!"
2. "That's too bad.  Times are tough, but everyone needs billable work.  They don't pay you to sit on the bench forever!"
3. "Poor (guy/gal), hope (he/she) finds work soon." 

Small talk:

1. (Ramble ad nauseam about software, hardware, or what we can do with the software or hardware).
2. (Ramble ad nauseam about the new business climate and good 'ol [insert name of colleague here] who just got laid-off).
3. (Ramble ad nauseam about the potential hockey strike).

Conclusion:

1. "Well, good seeing you!  Take care!"
2. "Well, I've got my CV out there, maybe I'll be leaving (insert company name here) soon.  Best of luck to you!"
3. "My life has no meaning.  Well, off to catch my bus to (insert Kanata/Orleans/other suburb here)!"
4. "Must find beer."

Maximum tolerable elapsed time: 3 minutes.  Repeat, as required, as determined by size of group.