Thursday, January 02, 2003

Honestly, What's Wrong With Some People?

A little bird told me a story about her New Year's Eve.

This friend of mine didn't have any major plans for New Year's Eve, but she decided to go out and do something anyway, because hey, it's New Year's Eve. She's never really liked NYE, in fact, she's had so many bad experiences with the night that she's come to expect something to go wrong. But she still tries to have an optimistic outlook about it and her boyfriend loves New Year's, so she made some plans of her own.

My friend and her boyfriend decided that dinner and dancing was the way to go. They spent some time getting all dolled up, my friend with her make-up and a sexy halter-top and stick-on sparkles and her boyfriend in an outfit that he knew that she liked. Once they got downtown, they poked around in a few restaurants to find something that was suitably romantic but not too expensive. Linked arm-in-arm, they found a spot and settled into a luxurious meal, telling stories and gazing lovingly into each other's eyes.

With about an hour left to go before midnight, they decided to pay the bill and find a place to dance. They had already scoped out one particular club that they knew had music that they both could enjoy and dance to along with a decent cover. Fortunately, when they got there, there was still plenty of space in the club and they settled into a spot near the bar where they could grab a barstool and watch the dance floor while they downed a few drinks.

Midnight was anti-climactic. At a certain point, the music died, the DJ's shouted "4...3....2...1...." into the microphone and there was a round of "Happy New Year!". My friend and her beau shared a midnight kiss and went back to their drinks. I think they both missed the party atmosphere where you get the built up anticipation and you go around hugging and kissing all of your close friends when midnight hits. It's just not the same in a club.

The couple hit the dance floor and soon realized how out-of-shape they both were. My friend told me that her first New Year's resolution was made at that moment, and that was to get some more exercise because she felt like she her lungs were going to explode after a few minutes of dancing.

Her boyfriend stayed on the dance floor despite the burning in his legs that told him they weren't happy with what he was trying to make them do. My friend stayed on the sidelines, and every once in a while joined him on the dance floor for another few minutes.

After an hour or so, she needed to go to the bathroom. On the way back to the dance floor, someone suddenly grabbed her between the legs from behind.

She spun around, but everyone behind her looked innocent and no one was looking in her direction. She had her fists clenched up, ready to start a fight, but she didn't know who to hit. She went back to her boyfriend and told him she'd just been assaulted.

Not surprisingly, it spoiled their whole evening. After it happened, neither one of them could enjoy themselves. They left the bar soon after and went home feeling angry, disappointed and violated.

Surprisingly, this wasn't even a club with a reputation for this kind of thing. In the past, their experiences in the club have been entirely positive and the usual clientele has been chilled out, mature, and respectful (and I can back this up, I've been there many times). Regardless of what the club is usually like, it happened there, and that's a total shame.

Now, here's my question: what on earth would possess someone to do that to someone else? Do they get off on grabbing a cheap feel? Do they think that they're tough if they can do it? Does it impress their friends? Do they think they're going to get the woman to go home with them? Or do they just get off on completely ruining someone's New Year's and making them feel violated and embarrassed?

It really doesn't make any sense to me. After hearing her story, I struggled to make sense of it. How could no one have noticed when it happened? And if someone did, why didn't they do anything about it? And if no one saw it, why would the morally-depraved asshole do it in the first place? To tell a sick-ass story that couldn't be corroborated?

In the end, all I could tell her was this: there are people out there who are pure, vicious assholes. They can and will strike whenever they feel like it, for whatever reasons they may have. It will never make any sense, but in the end, she should try to remember the good things about her evening and not the bad. It's hard, but when bad things happen, what else can you do? Move on and realize that it happened, but it shouldn't prevent her from going to the places and doing the things that she enjoys.

I just hope that she'll give New Year's Eve another chance.

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