Monday, March 15, 2004

I Will Now Predict a Future Body-Altering Fashion Craze...

Hairy tongues.

Hey, if people are willing to stab a piece of metal through it to enhance certain oral activities, think of what a mouthful of hair will do! And how might this be possible, you ask?

Researchers have recently discovered which cells are the source of follicles and hair growth. In the near future, modified stem cells might be implanted into various parts of the body to replace those that (for whatever reason) no longer produce hair. Among other things, this will mean that middle aged men will be throwing out their Rogaine for good. IF these researchers can apply what they've discovered.

Currently, the research has been done exclusively on mice. But the research has been promising, allowing for the growth of new hair follicles and brand new, growing hair. The trick will be to find out if these same cells work the same way in humans as they do in mice.

But why stop there? Sure, men and women won't go bald anymore, unless they want to. Burn victims and cancer patients will be able to grow their hair back completely. But think about the sheer joy that we might experience with long, flowing blonde locks growing out of our elbows! And members of pre-pubescent boy bands will be able to grow real-looking beards instead of scraggly teenage moustaches years before they could grow them naturally. Think of the possibilities!


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